Baby K is a....
- Laci Compton
- Jan 3, 2019
- 5 min read
There should be an application/interview process to start your own blog...right?! Maybe some sort of overseer that can hold people (ahem...me) responsible to a timeline!
Interviewer: "Mrs. Compton, how often do you intend to write in your blog, and update your followers on your surrogacy journey?"
Me: "Oh for sure, at least once a month!"
Interviewer: "Really...c'mon, really? You are currently working a part-time job, you are a stay-at-home mom of two, which includes homemaking, running errands, doctor appointments, grocery shopping, tutoring, and working as a cab driver to get little girls to dance, gymnastics, and violin. On top of that you and your family are very active with church functions, and in your down time...you choose to watch Netflix."
Me: "Ouch, harsh! Well when you put it like that...probably more like once every three months." Interviewer: "Denied!"
See how easy that would have been! Now, if you want to follow a blog from a beautiful friend who is 3x busier than me, and still manages to put out content on a more-than-regular basis about faith, life, hope, hosting, and growing into adulthood, you should check out Rest Nest Grow! Shameless plug, she is amazing! This December was crazy-fun-chaos, and writing was put on the back-burner for the time being. BUT today, my kids went back to school, my husband went back to work, and my mountain of laundry is washing, which means I was left with sweet, sweet alone time! So let's get started.
Ultrasound and Hospital Tour
When I last left you, I promised to update you after my twenty-week appointment when I found out what they were having. Drum-roll...It's a boy!!! The intended parents could not have been more excited, and I got answers as to why this pregnancy has been SO different from my own (I literally still get up every morning, open the fridge to start breakfast, close the fridge and promptly dry heave for about 5 minutes before I can try again!). His parents were able to come into town and be there for the ultrasound, and he put on quite a show for us all. He looked perfect, was as healthy as could be, he squirmed and kicked everywhere. His mother and I also died laughing every time the ultrasound technician would get an image of him face on because ALL babies look like Skelator from that angle. Below are his face from the side, and his sweet tiny foot!
After the ultrasound, we went over to the hospital to take a tour of where we will be delivering. I know that this is technically very early on, as most traditional pregnancies would do a hospital tour in the third trimester, but ConceiveAbilities plans them both at the same time. Most intended parents and surrogates live states, even countries away from each other, which can mean traveling a lot (missing work, airfare, and finding care for their children at home), so to simplify things, the ultrasound and hospital visit are combined. The hospital visit was great, and we were able to get answers to a lot of questions that we both had. For example, I found out that because I am planning a natural delivery, I can have access to the big laboring room! This room has bars that I can hang from, lots of room for exercise balls to sit on, and space for the 4 people who will be accompanying me to the birth; both parents, Jonathan, and my Mom! In this room I also have a little more privacy as it is tucked away in a corner of labor and delivery floor, and I will still have access to the Nitrous Oxide to help through contractions.
After baby is born, the intended parents and I will be moved to recovery suites, where we will each have our own rooms, but right next to each other. During this time, I will pump colostrum, go over and visit baby K a ton, and basically just make sure that I am stable; after 24 hours I get to go home. The intended parents and baby will have to stay the traditional 48 hours to make sure that he stable and healthy, but then they will also be heading home.
Next Steps
Step 1: Continue pregnancy.
Step 2: Assert Legal Parentage.
I think step two can sound a little scary, but it is a completely normal. Surrogacy is legal in the state of Massachusetts, which means there are lawyers in the state who do this all the time (I was also thankful to find out that the hospital has dealt with surrogacy many times, and this is not new to them). Asserting legal parentage is large document that basically states that the intended parents could not have children, but using their own genetic material, they chose a surrogate to carry the child. The child is not mine in anyway, I have no intentions of claiming the child after he is born, and that their names should appear on all hospital documents, and the birth certificate. Easy peasy! We just received the document last week, signed it and sent it out yesterday; that was really the last thing we had to do, now we just wait for Baby K to make his appearance.
What we are up to!
Well for starters, I am getting huge! People keep asking if I am having two, but I assure you it is just one. This is my third pregnancy, so everything of course stretches a lot quicker, and this baby makes me crave foods I would normally never eat, so we are both getting big together (I swear boy hormones are SO different from girl hormones)! But despite the size, we are both healthy, and I feel honored to be babysitting him until it is time to go home to his parents! Below are my belly shots from 20, 22, and 24 weeks.
Other than that, we are living life as normal, despite the fact that surrogacy is a little unorthodox, it does not make it any less than a normal pregnancy. I still go about life like I would, take care of the kids, text and chat with his parents on a weekly basis, and attend all of my regular pre-natal appointments. Being pregnant really has not had a huge impact upon my everyday life (besides feeling exhausted, but I felt that with all my pregnancies)!
One thing that we had to do that was a little different, was announce the pregnancy separately to our church congregation. Many people at church were beginning to realize I was pregnant, or hear that I was pregnant and congratulate me with zeal, in which I would have to explain that I was a surrogate and it was not mine. Besides repeating the story many times (because of course people were excited and had questions), I began to worry that if I did not explain that I would not have a baby at the end of this process, after delivery when I came to church minus a baby, people would think that the worst had happened. When people congratulate me while running errands, people I will never see again, I just smile and say thank-you, but I have begun to realize that there are many people who need to know, people who I am not friends with closely, or on Facebook, but that I still interact with weekly...My girls teachers at school, our family doctors, my immediate neighbors and folks at church. The announcement went wonderfully, and now I have many people praying for myself, the baby, and his parents!
So that is it for now! I am currently 25 weeks today, feeling great, and currently being kicked from the inside out as I write this! Before I go, I just have to share my favorite photo from our Christmas break. It is us hiking up at the Quabbin Reservoir and stopping so Jon could make us hot chocolate with his new JetBoil he got for Christmas....Life as normal + one rad baby for the next few months <3
Happiest 2019 everyone!!
Comments